Why Improv Can Help You Survive the Pandemic (and your Fifties) with Katie Goodman
Show Snapshot:
You don’t need me to tell you that we Have. Had. A. Year. A Certain Age is closing out 2020 with a very special guest. Katie Goodman is an award-winning improv comedian, actor, author, and social activist. Now, she shares how the tools of improv can help us navigate the pandemic and make us more resilient, joyful, and bold as we tackle the New Year. 2021, we ready!
In This Episode We Cover:
1. The eight tools of improv.
2. How to translate the tools of improv into our everyday life.
3. The surprising reasons why improv can help you navigate uncertainty and pandemic.
4. The improv tool of “yes and” is a key to creativity (and pandemic pivots).
5. No stage required – tips for practicing the rules of improv in your daily life.
6. How “giving up” the goal is a key to growth.
7. Making your inner critic an inner coach.
8. It’s okay to not be okay. Bring your human, authentic self to this moment in time.
Quotable:
The first rule of improv is to stay present. During the pandemic, it's been really important to be present and not spin out, and globalize, and catastrophize, and jump way the heck ahead to, 'Oh my God, I'm going to still be out of work in a year.'
Snackable Smarts:
Build Courage Confidence Creativity
From Inner Critic to Inner Coach
Word of Mouth. Katie’s Next Show.
Broad Comedy Virtual Performance | December 16th, 8pm
All profits go to benefit Fair Fight, a national voting rights organization rooted in Georgia fighting to ensure fair elections and access to democracy for all.
*Mature audiences only*
Tickets are just $20 per household
Tickets to Broad Comedy’s Virtual Performance on December 16th, 8pm
More Resources:
Katie’s website
Follow Katie on Istagram
Broad Comedy’s website
Broad Comedy on Instagram
Broad Comedy on Facebook
Katie’s Book: Improvisation for the Spirit: Live a More Creative, Spontaneous and Courageous Life Using the Tools of Improv Comedy
Transcript
Katie Fogarty (00:04):
Welcome to A Certain Age, a show for women on life after 50, who are unafraid to age out loud. I'm your host, Katie Fogarty.
Imagine having a job where you stand on stage in front of a crowd of strangers and perform without any preparation, without any script to guide you. Zero rehearsals. My guest today does exactly that. And so, so much more.
Katie Goodman is an award-winning improv comedian and actress, author, workshop, leader, speaker, and social activist. Her Off-Broadway, all-women's sketch comedy show, Broad Comedy has raised more than a million dollars for Planned Parenthood and other progressive causes and is part of the body of work that got her nominated for MacArthur Genius Grant. Katie literally wrote the book on using improv comedy to improve your life. And she has taught over 10,000 people how to use the tools of improv to handle absolutely anything, be more creative, courageous, and confident. Today, she's going to help us do the same. Welcome, to my fellow Katie.
Katie Goodman (01:08):
Hello.
Katie Fogarty (01:11):
I'm so excited to have you here!
Katie Goodman (01:13):
I know it's so fun.
Katie Fogarty (01:15):
I've taken an improv class with Katie. I've known her for a number of years. She is magic and fun and really helps us throw our arms around this. Because you know, I think that Saturday Night Live, Second City have really put sketch comedy and improv comedy into the zeitgeist, right? Because most of us are familiar with the genre. But translating the tools of improv into our everyday life feels a bit more mysterious.
Katie Goodman (01:44):
Yeah, yeah. Yeah. It's like a life coaching meets comedy, meets culture.
Katie Fogarty (01:54):
And so, you do a lot of corporate training and workshops. You do improv classes for women. Tell us how to take these tools of improv? Maybe walk us through sort of the basics, and then share your vision for how you started translating it to help people improve their lives.
Katie Goodman (02:11):
Yeah. Okay. And I was just remembering, when you were in my class, you were absolutely hilarious and very smart and it was really fun, highbrow comedy, not surprising.
Katie Fogarty (02:21):
Well, I remember being forced to sing in front of a room full of people that I didn't know. And I was like if I could survive that, I can survive anything. It was very, very humbling.
Katie Goodman (02:31):
I kind of sprung that on everyone at the end. Yeah. So, I was trained as an actor. And then I became a comedian and then I was also, at the same time in my late twenties, training to be a yoga teacher. And I noticed that all of the same tools that I was learning as a yoga teacher, and practicing Buddhism and being present and staying in the flow and giving up our expectations and all those things, were exactly the same thing that I was having to do in improv as well. So, that was when I got the idea to create this workshop and the book and everything to bring all that stuff together. Do you want me to just kind of walk through the eight tools I always teach?
Katie Fogarty (03:21):
Yeah sure. Tell us.
Katie Goodman (03:23):
All right. So, the first one is to stay present. So, I use this photo of a little toddler, standing at the bottom of a giant bunch of stairs steps outside. And, you know, as adults, we have this like, "Oh my God, it's overwhelming. How will I ever get to the top?" And I always try to use that image as the toddlers know intuitively to stay present. And they're just like, "Want to climb stair." That's it, one step at a time. The idea it's like, it's the one stair step that's in front of you. So, staying present is really important in any creative endeavor, really in anything obviously. But it helps us be really mindful and more present with others. So that we can also just become aware of our habitual reactions. And I think like during a pandemic, particularly it's been really important to be present and not spin out, and globalize, and catastrophize and like jump away the heck ahead to. "Oh my God, I'm going to still be out of work in a year." Or when's the vaccine... Like it was really important I think, for people to...we were forced?
Katie Fogarty (04:39):
Right. We were forced. To keep your sanity is to focus on, you know, getting the toilet paper and just worrying about today.
Katie Goodman (04:46):
Exactly. Yeah, toilet paper is such a good example. Nothing better to get us present then the need for toilet paper and how to find it. And improv, you know, you need that because you really need to be listening to the person. So, if you're like floating off into the future and you're not listening, you have no idea what they've just offered you.
Katie Fogarty (05:03):
Yes.
Katie Goodman (05:04):
So, that leads kind of the second tool which is called "Yes And." I know a lot of people know that expression, the "Yes And" principle. So —and this can happen in a relationship in a family, in a staff meeting— if people are like, "Hey, I have this great idea." And everyone's like, “No, no, no.” Or they're just not even listening, which I know happens to women all the time of every age where you have this great idea and nobody hears it. And then 20 minutes later, one of the dudes in the room says it.
Katie Fogarty (05:34):
And everyone's like, "That's a great idea. Brilliant!"
Katie Goodman (05:38):
It's so amazing to me. I have been hearing that story for 20 years when I go talk to companies and it is still happening. Although people are getting a little bit better at pointing it out, like, "Listen to her.”
So anyway, that can happen with ageism in either direction. So, the "Yes And" principle is doesn't have to be, "Yes, I love your idea," if you don't. But it can be like, "Yes, I hear you." And then I'm going to add onto it. So, Katie, we did in our workshop, you know, I would say to you, for example, "Hey mom, is this a picture of the dog you had when you were a child? And you would say, "Yes and," and then you'd add something to it. I want to throw that out...
Katie Fogarty (06:30):
And you'd say, "Yes, but my dog had a tail the last time I saw it. What happened to this dog's tail?
Katie Goodman (06:37):
Exactly. Oh, God.
Katie Fogarty (06:38):
Where'd the tail go?
Katie Goodman (06:43):
So, what you've already done is you've like taken my idea and you've run with it. As opposed to being like, "That's not my dog." Right? Because then the scene, or the idea or the staff room, or the family, just kind of falls flat. Right? So, you've said “Yes” you've acknowledged it, and then you've added to it. So, you don't want to just be somebody who's like yeah, "Great idea." We want to be adding our own stuff to all the ideas that come our way. And again, back to the pandemic. Super useful skill right now is we're all like, well, that thing I've always counted on can't happen. Or my job has completely changed to Zoom or whatever. So, if you're just negating it, you know, we're going to get stuck and not adapt and annoy everyone around us basically.
Katie Fogarty (07:35):
Right. And not move because you've closed the door. You've given yourself no avenue for change or growth.
Katie Goodman (07:41):
Exactly. Yeah. And I mean, it's kind of interesting, like podcasting-wise for you, obviously, it's still the same and actually a friend of mine, who's a radio show, Ophira Eisenberg. She does "Ask Me Another." And what's been interesting since they can't do their live shows, they've gone online, but it's given her the opportunity to work with celebrities who are A) home, B) don't have to get on a plane, and C) are in their pajamas. So, she's actually pivoted. She, "Yes Anded" it really well. It's just a good example. I was just thinking about it this morning. And it's actually grown better. And she's in some ways, like "I kind of want to keep this probably."
Katie Fogarty (08:24):
My pandemic silver lining rocks! I'm now on the phone with somebody cool.
Katie Goodman (08:30):
You could be a total Pollyanna too, like, "Oh, everything so great! I'm at home with my kids..."
Katie Fogarty (08:39):
Yeah. We're not going there. No, we're not doing that. We're not doing that. All right. What's number three?
Katie Goodman (08:45):
I'll kind of skim through the next few because they're sort of similar. I mean we've already kind of hit on them a little bit. Number three is to be flexible. Obviously, things aren't going how we expect. So, I always try to teach people —and the reason I love doing these workshops is because they're doing something new they've never done before, and it's completely sometimes out of their wheelhouse. And this can be for anybody like, you know, for your listeners at home. I learned to cook at 52 after during this pandemic. I literally had not cooked a thing in my entire life because my husband was the cook. I've cooked like 60 or 70 meals. And so, that was like really shifting, because my husband still had a job basically. And I didn't. I couldn't perform or go on tour to speak or lead workshops in person. So, I was like, "I'm going to do all the hobbies."
Katie Fogarty (09:33):
This is his pandemic silver lining. He probably is...
Katie Goodman (09:38):
I'm going to be super annoying. Yeah. Everybody's like, “Great Katie. Awesome. I'm so glad you're having a good pandemic.” And so, being flexible obviously to pivot—the word we're all really sick of—but just incredibly important. And oh, what I was saying was, we want to be able to try it somewhere. That's easy like in a playful, improv workshop. Or being flexible with your exercise regimen. Somewhere that's not like super loaded, you know like I'm going to be flexible with my mother-in-law moving in with me. Like, try to practice. Pick something today; try to practice it in something that's just simple and straightforward and there aren't any big consequences. And then when you get more comfortable and playful with it, then you can take it over to the mother-in-law and try it there.
Katie Fogarty (10:28):
I like it. So, I'm getting it a big latte instead of a small one.
Katie Goodman (10:33):
Yeah. Or almond milk. Right?
Katie Fogarty (10:36):
Okay. I can do that.
Katie Goodman (10:38):
The fourth point is to give up the goal, which is again, I mean, I cannot even tell you how appropriate all this stuff has been for the pandemic. And actually, I really do think I've had an easier time in a lot of ways because I've been practicing this stuff my whole life. And all these sort of creative people I know are doing a really good job of changing the way that they do things and not completely flipping out. So, giving up the goal. So, you want to do that in improv. Like, let's say, for example, I mean, you'll probably remember this from our workshop and stuff, but let's say, you know, you walk in and they're like it's, "It's a scene set in the hospital." And I have this example because my husband and I had this happen where—we’re in the same theater company. So, he was like looking really confident and I'm thinking, "He's the doctor" And I was like, "Do you recognize this?" And I point to my nose and in my mind, I'm thinking like, I'm, you know, I had my nose done by this doctor's nose job and like I'm coming back because I had a crush on him or something. Of course, I don't say any of that out loud because it's happening so fast. So, then he thought, he's making up a totally different story. This is the be-flexible, give-up-the-goal, be-present, yes-and like everything's needed in this moment. And he says, "Oh my God, it's the missing nose. The nurse has stored it on her face!" And it was so completely ridiculous. So, it caught me off guard a little bit in a great way. But like, if I didn't "Yes And" him and I'd be like, "No, no, no. This is the nose job you did. I'm not a nurse," then like, all his funny would have just died. And I wouldn't have been a good partner, like playing partner, and I gave up my goal, but you don't have to be a doormat, right? So, this is what I think is important too. Especially like for women, you know, who are either in a leadership or non-leadership position, but you know, you don't want to be like, "Oh, okay. So, just forget my idea." So, I kept elements of it because they were strong choices. Like, I had a crush on this guy that really helped give me an objective, something I wanted in the scene. I was still proud. Like I was proud pointing to the nose. So, I kept that. This is a ridiculous example.
Katie Fogarty (12:57):
No, it’s a good example.
Katie Goodman (12:59):
It's all those things where you give up the goal, but you don't just like, turn into a puddle. Right.
Katie Fogarty (13:06):
I think that's so smart.
Katie Goodman (13:07):
And I think, it's something…we’ve all had to give up just massive goals. I think of my niece who went off to college this year. And she like, literally just got back a couple of days ago and that's it, you know? And now she's home for the rest of the year, giving up like, all that and having left home and all this stuff, I mean, these are the really big things. If we can handle, practice some of this stuff in a playful way where we can kind of… So, I think the idea is t's not just practicing Katie, right? Like it's not just like I have to get better and stronger at this. It's so that you can see how you operate. It's very hard in the middle of a fight with your husband to see how you operate. Right. You're just in your like ammo.
Katie Fogarty (13:48):
Yes. This is ringing very true.
Katie Goodman (13:53):
So, if you're in some other world like if you're cooking and you're being inflexible, you can… and this actually totally happened to me over Thanksgiving. I had made this pie and I totally—because the people who usually make it were not there, and I totally screwed it up. And then I fixed it and I got it and I felt good about it. But then somebody else was like, "Oh, can you make this other thing?" Just improvise it. And I got like, panicked over food. And I was like, "Oh my God, why am I having this moment right now?" It's because I'm a life coach, so I can...I am a philosophy major, I could like, kind of like dig out. And I was like, "Oh my God. It's because I'm worried about wrecking things for everybody." That's definitely like me in general. I'm a little bit worried about ruining things for the people that I'm trying to do nice things for. And it was also like the pressure of doing right. Even though I'm an improviser.
Katie Fogarty (14:54):
Because you're comparing it to the way it had been. How it used to be when that other person made it...it's tricky. And I love that you've been weaving the pandemic through everything that you've been sharing. Because I feel that's so core to the moment in time we're in, we can't avoid it. It's kind of the scene that we've been handed by the universe. So, we're forced to manage our way through this. But your doctor analogy was so perfect because you still held onto the kernel of what you were, was meaningful to you at that moment. And I feel like we all need to do that. Because the thing about those 2020 goals, I mean, I write a vision every year for what I'm hoping is going to happen in my year and what I'm working towards. And at some point in April, I was ripping up the piece of paper and throwing it in the trash, because I felt like the universe was like, "That's not gonna happen." But you know, it doesn't need to be that way. Like the kernel of the things, I still wanted to do were there. Which was be connected to my family and my friends. I've been Zooming like a maniac with the people in my life that are important. I'm not seeing them in real life, but I can still be connected, you know, because that's important. And I can still be of service to my clients. And this podcast is an outgrowth, because I was like, I want to do something creative. I thought it was going to look one way, but you know, the pandemic, you know, I can still talk to people virtually, so…
Katie Goodman (16:18):
Right, right. Exactly. And I think also what's kind of interesting is you take you with you, wherever you go,
Katie Fogarty (16:26):
I love that. I love that I'm getting that embroidered on something. I don't know.
Katie Goodman (16:30):
So, whatever your garbage was before the pandemic, it's going to be heightened.
Katie Fogarty (16:36):
I don't love that.
Katie Goodman (16:37):
I don't want to change, right. So, actually that food thing, that's kind of interesting for me because what is happening for me now during the pandemic, you know, I grew up in a very high-achieving household. In fact, my dad was a surgeon. My mom was a Pulitzer-prize-winning journalist. And so, that is my burden to bear, that's my background. I am constantly having to check myself on overachievement issues. You know, overachievers-anonymous kind of stuff. And the thing that kind of can put me over the edge sometimes is—and this I'm sure is why I've gravitated towards improv—you can't be perfect. Like literally it's not even on the agenda, right. But when I feel incompetent, I get upset. You know, I feel bad about myself. And you know, that's just the inner critic talking. And at this point in my career and life, and being a coach, I know to look for that.
But it was really funny. I was sitting there with this gravy recipe that they were asking me to improvise after I'd screwed up the pie. And I was like, "Oh my God, I'm feeling incompetent." I haven't performed in a year, in eight months. I haven't spoken. I haven't written. I mean, now I'm doing it all virtually, and it's coming back and I'm starting to feel better. But there was like this really big chunk of time where I wasn't doing the things that I feel competent in. And I was only doing new things. I was cooking. I was learning to paint. And as you know, I took an interior design course. Like all things that are new and you know, maybe I had some skill in at times and that's been fun. But I was also like, "Oh my God, that's my little trigger right now is feeling incompetent." And I think that happens. That's probably a pretty common one for people during a time. And one of the skills that I teach is allowing yourself to get lost.
Katie Fogarty (18:35):
How do you teach that? Tell me more about that. I'm curious.
Katie Goodman (18:38):
Yeah. So, well, definitely in a game, right? Like you're absolutely lost in the game. In the middle, in the beginning, particularly, and then the middle, it's called the messy middle, and it might not even come out at the end where you think it's going to come out. So, allowing yourself to not know where the scene is going is vital. That's like one of the rules, you have to kind of not know where it's going and being willing to accept that. But I have lists and lists of ways people can do that. Like right now, you know, when you and I go take a walk, let's go take it through the park in an area we haven't done before. Or certainly, we're all, like, getting lost, probably on the internet watching things. Like, I never was a TV watcher. This is kind of unusual. I realize. But so now I'm watching all these movies I never got to watch and stuff. Or trying new things, cooking, painting, art, whatever. But also it can be things like getting lost, like allowing yourself to..."lost" is kind of a strong word, but allowing yourself to connect with people you haven't connected within a long time. I know we all kind of did that, in the beginning, a little bit more. But I'm starting to get sick of Zoom, but also just to reach out to some really long ago, friends, you know, from my childhood, somebody who was like basically, my step-sister growing up and, and things like that. And that's really fairly easy. And then again, so that when you're doing things that are hard, like I don't really know what it's going to look like, going back to performing in theaters. Will there be masks? Will everybody be six seats apart? You know, things like that. That will be a little bit easier. Because I'll know, I'm not going to die being lost. Like it's okay. I'm going to be able to kind of sit with it more comfortably. Does that make sense?
Katie Fogarty (20:32):
It totally makes sense. It totally makes sense. And so, do you feel that trying the new things helped you during the pandemic to kind of tether you to..
Katie Goodman (20:43):
Yeah.
Katie Fogarty (20:44):
Because it's interesting. My day job, I work with people who are working on their professional branding, sharing their career stories. I do a lot of work with people on LinkedIn. And while I work with a lot of people sometimes who are looking to elevate their career or win new clients, I do work with a lot of people who are job hunting, which can feel like a really fraught, scary time when you're not working and are looking for employment. It's a very vulnerable space to be in. And sometimes when I'm working with somebody who's really struggling, I'll ask them about, you know, where else do they succeed? You know, are they like an amazing baker? Do they sing in the church choir? Whatever it is. Because everyone has an area in their life where they feel so confident. And I think when you can connect to what makes you feel yourself, and powerful and successful, not in corporate success, but just when you feel like I'm doing what I'm meant to be doing, it kind of bleeds into everything else. So, it's interesting that the idea of doing things that you're not good at in some ways can help you as well.
Katie Goodman (21:46):
Yes. But I think you kind of maybe need both. Like my...
Katie Fogarty (21:49):
Practice, because if otherwise, you're going to the first time that things are challenged, you're going to sink. Because you've had no little, you haven't built that muscle by being uncomfortable. You have to be uncomfortable to take greater swings and bigger risks.
Katie Goodman (22:04):
Yep. And then you just have to be really prepared for your inner critic to perk up its little antenna and start chatting at you. And just like, if you walk into something, knowing that that's going to happen and how to handle it, then I think you won't be blindsided. And I can give you guys a PDF download of an inner critic worksheet to turn it into an inner coach. It's such like a...
Katie Fogarty (22:28):
I love that. I remember you did that at the tail end of our workshop. Do you want to just quickly walk through with our listeners? Because everyone has a critic that's always telling themselves you're not doing it well, they're doing it better. Why did you say that? That was silly? Send us off with something that's going to get us to quiet those noisy voices.
Katie Goodman (22:44):
Well, the first thing you need to remember is that your inner critic —I'm kind of like jumping to the end of this—but your inner critic was put in place to protect you, right? From being embarrassed and literally kicked off the island. Evolutionary biology created that fear, so you won't like to ostracize yourself from the clan. And then like literally get sent off on the ice floe. So like, don't feel bad about having an inner critic. It's not like you're the only one. I think a lot of people think they're like...I mean, everybody has it. And also just like, I don't know if you saw that movie A Beautiful Mind, but where he saw character and heard voices. And it’s not like they ever went completely away. They just like, at the end of the movie, they kind of like stood over to the side, looking at him. So, that's the idea with the inner critic. It's not like, "Oh, I'm weak because I hear these things." Everybody hears them. It's just you stop listening to them and heeding them. So, for example, an inner critic isn't somebody...this is what it's not. It's not like, "You know, you really should put on makeup and get dressed and do some research before you go to that job interview." That's like a coach.
Katie Fogarty (23:53):
That's common sense.
Katie Goodman (23:55):
Exactly. And it's neutral objective language. The inner critic is like, "You're not gonna get this." It's something you can't argue, right? And that's how you know it's the critic. It's like, "You're not smart enough. Why would you think you could do this?" It's usually mean and nasty. So, jotting down what it says is really important. So, you kind of get it out of your head and on paper.
And then looking at it, like, if your friend said that you'd be like,"What?!?" Right? If your friend said that about themselves, you'd be like, "Are you kidding me? You're awesome!" So, then the next step is trying to figure out maybe when it jumps into view, like when what triggers it to come up? That would just be helpful so that when you go into those situations, you know it's going to be there, like a new date or going to see your family over Thanksgiving or Christmas. And then the next step is to try to come up with some neutral language and areas of your life that you would like its help. Like, I really don't want the inner critic to help me when I'm on the scale, particularly right now. I would like it to help me when I'm trying to get organized about this new e-course I'm teaching people how to teach creative workshops and we're making a new course about it. So, I'd like to have a reasonable timeframe instead of like, "You're never going to get this done." Just neutral objective language. Like, let's talk to Tana, my assistant, about when seems reasonable and what platform we're using and how much I should send her a week and blah, blah, blah. You know, like just very neutral objective languaging. And that's your inner coach. And I think that's kind of a good overview. It's not something that will probably be fixed in like five minutes. So, I'll give you guys the download.
Katie Fogarty (25:50):
But that sounds so smart to sort of, recognize when the inner critic is actually working for you versus when the inner critic is stopping you in your tracks. Because even just that, that recognition is powerful, right?
Katie Goodman (26:04):
And I call it a critic versus a coach because I do think it's important to make that distinction. And one is helpful and one is not.
Katie Fogarty (26:11):
That's so valuable. And I'm putting that download into the show notes. Thank you for being generous to share it with us, Katie. I know that we don't have too much more time because you did share the sort of the top before we got going that you have a virtual parent-teacher conference happening. Because all of our lives are virtual now, including getting together with our kids' teachers.
But we only have a few more minutes. I would love to hear a little bit about, how you think... We're heading into the holiday season right now. We've just come out of Thanksgiving, the holidays are approaching, the New Year. For a lot of us, Thanksgiving looked different. The winter holidays will probably feel different as well. How can we use some of these tools that you talked about— being confident and courageous and embrace these changes and feel good about having things be different? How can we make the downside or be an upside?
Katie Goodman (27:03):
Right. Right. So, basically, all of these skills that I just said, lead to the last one, which is to try to be authentic. So, if you're like showing up either on Zooms or with your kids or at family things. Or if you're trying to just appease everybody right now, particularly with the holidays, or even you just get kudos at work for being something you're not, it's just not going to be satisfying. So, I think one of the main ways that we are confident is when we show up authentically. And we either get praised or we don't, but we're still authentic about it. I think that is where our confidence really comes from. Does that make sense?
Katie Fogarty (27:50):
Figuring out what being true to yourself and, and being that way in this situation, even if it's not...
Katie Goodman (27:57):
Also, I think people are really appreciating when people are honest. I mean, you don't have to be like whining all the time about the pandemic, but you know, I had an experience the other day with my financial advisor who was working from home and she had a four-year-old who started screaming in the background. And I think this is really important for women in our thirties, forties, fifties, too, is that to support each other in this. And she was like, "Oh my God, I'm so embarrassed. Excuse me for one second." And she goes back and she was like, "I'm sorry, it was a Spider-Man costume malfunction." And...
Katie Fogarty (28:30):
I'd be screaming too. I would be screaming too.
Katie Goodman (28:34):
And I was so thrilled that she had a girl that had a Spider-Man costume, like just to start with, from a feminist point of view. And I wrote her an email afterward, because there was also a guy on the call with us and I wrote her afterward and I was like, “Please know you absolutely don't have to apologize.” She was like, "That was so unprofessional." And I was like, "No. Actually, it was exactly professional. You are home with a kid trying to work as a woman." And right now a huge portion of the population of women are the ones who are not working, you know, to stay at home with the kids, like it's a shocking number of women that are stopping working. And I was like, "That's exactly professional. You're being very authentic." And she wrote back the most appreciative email, which made me realize how hard it is for her and for other women.
Katie Fogarty (29:22):
Absolutely. It's astonishing what people are grappling with during this time. And I'm sure she appreciated that lovely note. And I really feel that I've had so many Zoom calls like this. I actually had a client call where the woman got on the phone in shell-shock, in her pajamas, because her neighbor had just died of COVID and it was so painful. And we're all in this. This is a global pandemic that we're grappling with collectively as humans. And I feel like one of the things that I've noticed is that people are really bringing more of their human self to every interaction. And hopefully, that's going to be something that continues because I really feel like conversations that start with like, "How are you? Are you okay? How can I be helpful?" You know, when I connected with your friend Marci, that you introduced me to, right out of the gate, on our Zoom call, she said, "I want to know where you are in the pandemic and how you're managing?" And I thought, what a lovely way to start the conversation, you know, to deeply and authentically ask, "How are you?"
Katie Goodman (30:23):
There are so many good things that are coming. I mean when you were talking about the parent conferences, like how many parents cannot get to their kids’ school for parent conferences or PTA meetings? How awesome would it be if Zoom is the new way to do it? Because especially it's like a discrepancy or an income level too, of who can get to them and who cannot afford to take the time off from their job to go in. Right?
Katie Fogarty (30:49):
Right.
Katie Goodman (30:49):
I also wanted to say, like, I think having some fun and humor in new creative ways that are accessible to you. So like, I've been doing all these Airbnb experiences with my mom who lives in a different state and they're just so silly and fun. And plus you learn something and you see each other and like, I've been doing some travel ones, they're just, somebody comes online and they like give you a tour of their town partially by video or stories. But there are so many things like that that can be creative, oh and hey, a plug! My Broad Comedy is doing a show on December 16th. I'm not sure when this is coming out, but we're going to be doing virtual shows for people. And what's so great about it is it's all these people who have not been able to see us because they can't get to the city we're in...
Katie Fogarty (31:36):
Including me! I have two virtual tickets I'm coming on the 16th. This show is dropping on December 14th. So, everybody needs to stop what they're doing. Go to acertainagepod.com for the show notes, because you will find a way to click over and purchase a ticket. They're relatively inexpensive. It's $20 a ticket and tells us what we could expect and what the money is going for Katie?
Katie Goodman (32:00):
It's going to verify the Georgia elections. It's an all-women's comedy show. So, definitely rated R, so you might want to take your little Zoom laptop to another room. It's just $20 a household and we're doing some political, funny stuff. In fact, there are a couple of pieces in there, Katie, that we will never ever do again after that date because they are, thankfully going to be outdated soon.
Katie Fogarty (32:31):
Ah, I bet I know what that's about.
Katie Goodman (32:34):
And then we are doing, I mean, one of them, it was actually fun. We had the opportunity, we have a piece that's a bridal shower. It's a sketch about our sex toys. It's a very funny piece.
Katie Fogarty (32:49):
Had no idea that was a thing.
Katie Goodman (32:53):
And we changed it to be a Zoom bridal shower. So that was a really fun little shift we got to do. And so anyway, it's a blast and it's like a 45 or 50-minute show. Before we all Zoom out, get tired, but just very silly, a couple of songs and a bunch of sketches and a lot of women's and mom issues and stuff like that.
Katie Fogarty (33:20):
Excited. I'm bringing my 20-year-old daughter.
Katie Goodman (33:23):
Wonderful.
Katie Fogarty (33:25):
Up to my screen to watch. Katie, this has been so much fun. I so appreciate your coming on and getting… I always love getting to hang with you. And I'm excited to introduce you to the listeners of the show. How can they keep following you and your work? I'm going to link to the Broad Comedy event on December 16th, but how can people keep following what you're up to?
Katie Goodman (33:46):
Yeah, just katiegoodman.com is just the easiest place. Everything's there. And it asks you when you get there, do you want to laugh or do you want to learn about yourself? And then you pick a track and it's either life coaching or comedy.
Katie Fogarty (33:59):
You go left or right. You're going to be happy.
Katie Goodman (34:01):
Yeah. Exactly. And I just want to tell you, Katie, I have loved the show personally. I've just gotten so much out of listening to all of your interviews and just loving how you do it.
Katie Fogarty (34:11):
Thank you. Thank you, lady. All right. Thanks for being on with me today, Katie.
Katie Goodman (34:15):
All right. See you later. Okay. Bye.
Katie Fogarty (34:17):
This wraps A Certain Age, a show for women over 50, who are aging without apology. Thanks for listening. Creating the show each week since August has been a pandemic silver lining. I miss spending time in rooms full of amazing women like Katie, and I love connecting with my guests and my listeners virtually through this show. You rock!
Let's keep this going in 2021. A Certain Age is taking a two-week break for the holidays. We'll be back the first Monday in January to kick off Season Two. All January long, our guests will help you get after whatever it is you want in the new year. We'll tackle goal-setting, finding purpose, fueling creativity, and creating the big, bold 2021 we all deserve after this year. See you next time. And until then: age boldly, beauties.