Your Next Chapter Starts With Who You Know—Shelly Lombard on the Power of Midlife Networking
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Show Snapshot:
Midlife has a funny way of revealing hard truths or what you neglected to build. At 50, after 35 years on Wall Street, Shelly Lombard got laid off—and her phone never rang. That painful wakeup call led her to found Schmooze, a platform teaching woman to build relationships and network with intention and joy. Learn how one Happy New Year text landed Shelly a corporate board seat, why 80% of board roles are filled through relationships, and why it's never too late to cultivate relationships to create what’s next. Want to find your people? Tune in!
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Transcript:
Katie Fogarty [0:03]
Welcome to A Certain Age, a show for women who are unafraid to age out loud. I'm your host, Katie Fogarty. Beauties, midlife has a way of making you take stock — the career you built, the relationships you cultivated, the doors you thought would always be open, and the ones that quietly closed while you weren't paying attention. For so many women, the question isn't just what's next, it's who do I know? Who can help me get there? One truth keeps coming up: your network is your net worth. Nobody knows this better than today's guest, Shelly Lombard. Shelly spent over 35 years on Wall Street, becoming one of the most quoted financial analysts in the country, and served on the boards of public companies, including Bed Bath and Beyond. And yet Shelly learned the hard way that a sterling resume means nothing without relationships to back it up. Working from home, raising kids, hitting deadlines in pajamas, Shelly was doing everything right professionally and everything wrong relationally. At midlife, when her career shifted, her network had vanished. She later discovered that 80% of corporate board seats are filled through relationships, not applications. So she built Schmooze, a platform that coaches women to network with intention and use those relationships to reinvent, pivot, and rise. Don't worry, we're not getting into LinkedIn, we're not getting into resumes. We are getting into building and cultivating a rich network of relationships that can help you in all aspects of midlife — creatively, professionally, personally — because in midlife, it's not too late. It is the perfect time to get going. Welcome to A Certain Age, Shelly.
Shelly Lombard [1:51]
Thank you. Thank you for having me. I'm really excited about this.
Katie Fogarty [1:53]
This is such a fun topic. I covered networking and relationship building a couple of years ago with a wonderful guest named Susan McPherson, who wrote a book about the power of connecting, and that show performed really, really well, because I think women are excited about relationships. We thrive in community. Yet sometimes when we get to midlife and all of a sudden the job changes, or our kids grow and the sports teams and the carpooling ends, sometimes our relationships wither. So we're going to get into it all. We want to talk about your coaching company, Schmooze — what it means to develop and maintain thriving networks, how to create new ones. But I want to start with a little bit of stage setting for the woman who's listening right now, who feels maybe that her best years professionally are behind her. What do you want her to know?
Shelly Lombard [2:38]
I am having the time of my life. I am happier than I have ever been. So I worked on Wall Street. I was a writer before then, had a job I totally hated, and then I went to business school and became a banker. I liked it for the most part, but I hated the commute. I hated being one of the few women on the trading floor — a high-testosterone environment — and I am having more fun now. My time is my own. I am doing more. I'm on corporate boards, I run Schmooze, I still have my toe in the finance world because I teach classes to bankers and hedge fund people, and I am happier now than I've ever been. It took me a while to get here, but I'm happier now than I've ever been.
Katie Fogarty [3:30]
I love that, and it sounds like you've built a really interesting sort of portfolio career, where you're on boards, you're teaching, you're an entrepreneur, you've created your own company. We are going to be getting into everything that you teach at Schmooze, some of the most valuable lessons. But I want to talk about that liminal space. When you left Wall Street for the first time after 35 years, you stepped back and said, I need to build something different. But at that moment, you realized that a lot of your relationships were on Wall Street, and maybe they'd even become anemic over the years. Did you have an "aha" moment when you realized, oh my gosh, my network that I thought was there had vanished? And what did that moment feel like in real time?
Shelly Lombard [4:10]
Yeah, so I'm shy and I'm an introvert, so I've never been somebody who was out there. I wasn't strategic, I wasn't intentional about networking. So when I started, it was still Wall Street, but it was a firm that allowed me to work from home. So I was working from home, dealing with the kids, meeting deadlines, and it didn't dawn on me that my network had shriveled up and died until I got laid off from that job. That was during the financial crisis, so it was a while ago, and I was ready to do something different anyway. But headhunters will call you for jobs that you've already done. They're not going to call you for something new — like your dream job that you just realized you want to pivot and do something different. That's when you have to make calls, and that's when you have to have people to call. And I didn't have that. So it took me a while to get back on my feet. My career pivot was a fail. Like, it didn't happen. I just didn't have enough contacts — people I could call and say, Can you introduce me to this one or that one? It also was pre-LinkedIn and pre-Zoom, so your networking tools were not as sophisticated and helpful as they are now. So for me, that was the moment. The other thing was, I was 50. So in my 35 years on Wall Street, I've been laid off four times. The first three times, despite there being no LinkedIn or anything like that, people tracked me down. They found my phone number through a friend of a friend, and I got offered jobs. I was 50 the last time I got laid off, and my phone did not ring. Nobody called me, and I didn't have anybody to call, because I let my network dry up. So that's really when it hit me — I had done something wrong, or I hadn't done enough. Put it that way.
Katie Fogarty [6:03]
You learned a tough lesson. And there's a great expression — I used to work for Senator Bill Bradley, and he used to say something all the time that has really stuck with me over the years, because that job was 25–30 years ago. He would say, the time to fix the roof is when the sun is shining. And we need to invest in our relationships before we need them. We need to invest in our friendships before we want to call on people to support us during tough times. Which is why this conversation is so needed, and I think so valuable for anyone who's listening, even if they're not thinking about career reinvention. You are thinking about building and strengthening relationships that will support you in creative endeavors, or will support you as you spend time in your communities of faith, or you look to do things professionally, or even with volunteering and building the rich networks that sustain us. So, one last stage-setting question before we get into some of the nitty-gritty of networking. You have had a second career as a corporate board leader. I know from spending time on your website that you shared a pretty interesting stat — that 80% of corporate board seats are filled through relationships. I want to talk about that statistic and ask you: when you discovered proof positive in numbers how important relationships are, how did it change how you move through the world?
Shelly Lombard [7:21]
Yeah, it changed a lot. Every board I've been on has been a result of a relationship. The very first board I was on was due to somebody that I had known for 35 years — so before my kids were even born — and we used to do distressed investing together, and he called me and said, Would you be interested in this? I didn't know anything about boards, but that's the benefit of networking and relationships. People remember you and opportunities come up. We had kept in touch sporadically over the years, and so he said, Would you be interested in this? And I was at least savvy enough to say yes. Every board role after that — and there have been six altogether — was due to a relationship. Somebody on a board remembered me, and then when they moved to another board, they asked me if I was interested, because they knew my skill set and what I could bring, and they needed that skill set. My most recent board role was the result of me trying to keep in touch with people. My 50th high school reunion is coming up. If I meet somebody there and they want an introduction or anything, I will help. I'm happy to help. But I keep in touch with people so they can remember me when opportunities come up. So I was on a board with two gentlemen, and I reached out to them — I think it had to be 2024 — just to say, Happy New Year. One of them came back six weeks later and said, Hey, we're on this board. Would you be interested in interviewing for it? I said, Sure, and I landed on that board. Maybe they would have thought of me anyway, because they were looking for an audit chair and I have a finance background — but there's no guarantee of that. But because I pinged them and kept that relationship warm — not hot, just warm — they had me top of mind. Interestingly, I had never met these two gentlemen in person. We were on a board together during the pandemic, so we were meeting virtually. But reaching out just to say, Hey, Happy New Year kept me top of mind, and that's how I landed my most recent board role.
Katie Fogarty [9:22]
I love that you share that you never met them in person, because I think this is a really important point to be making in a world where so many of our relationships are conducted virtually. I had the great pleasure of being in Austin, Texas a couple of weeks ago with a community of women that I've met over the last five years of podcasting in the midlife space, and I met all of those women initially on Instagram. We met on Instagram. We liked each other's content. We cared about the same things. We would like, comment, and post on what each other was creating and bringing out into the world. Eventually we wound up at conferences together, and we would say things like, Hey, are you going to such-and-such conference? Let's find each other and say hi. And fast forward five years later, we were all together — there were six of us in one woman's home to celebrate her 60th birthday. So I know social media sometimes gets a bad rap. Zoom gets a bad rap. LinkedIn gets a bad rap. But you can truly open up lines of communication with people that you can then take into the offline space and spend real time with. So I love that you shared that these gentlemen that you met on Zoom during the pandemic were still your champions and your boosters. Okay, so let's get into the nitty-gritty of networking. Because I think sometimes people feel like networking has a bad PR agent — it feels so transactional. And I feel that when I think about networking, I think about relationships. I love the use of the word earlier — you said that you want to help people and you want to be generous. And for a lot of women, that resonates, that clicks. So for the listeners on my show, who are women in midlife who may be looking to resurrect relationships or to create new ones, or maybe feel like, gosh, I moved, I've downsized, I'm in a new place and a new season, and they feel they're starting over relationally — what would you say to them?
Shelly Lombard [11:16]
So a couple of things. There's a study by LinkedIn — and I think it was Harvard or one of the Ivy League universities that replicated it — but you are much more likely, I think 70% more likely, to find an opportunity through someone that you haven't talked to in a while. A lot of times, when we go on LinkedIn, we check out somebody, we have 50 people in common, 50 mutual contacts, and we get all excited. But you're much more likely to find an opportunity through someone where you only have a couple of contacts in common. That's because you're moving in different circles. You have different networks. So don't be afraid to reach out to somebody who you worked with 10 years ago, or somebody who was a client five years ago. The reason I say that is: one, they have a different network, so statistically they're more likely to be able to help if you want to do something different. And two, people worry about, how is it going to look? But you know what — if they don't respond, one, people are busy. They could be dealing with an elderly parent. They could be dealing with a child in college who needs them more than they thought. I'm on LinkedIn every five seconds, but a lot of people aren't. So if you reach out to people and they don't reply, don't take it personally — they could be busy, they could not be an active user of LinkedIn. And look, what's the worst-case scenario? They can't come to your house and toilet paper it. They just don't respond. Move on.
Katie Fogarty [12:54]
I am crying with laughter. If people who ignored my LinkedIn messages came over and toilet papered my house, I'd be drowning in toilet paper, because Shelly, my email inbox is a horror show.
Shelly Lombard [13:08]
Yeah, so I think don't be afraid to reach out. If they don't answer, don't take it personally. Just move on — keep it moving. I think networking does get a bad rep. A good friend of mine posted something the other day: "Networking is dead. Real relationships — you build them one on one." She was being a bit tongue-in-cheek, and I said to her, I've made some great relationships through a dinner event that you hosted in real life a year ago, and I reminded her. And I said, Those relationships became real relationships. We didn't just exchange LinkedIn profiles. They became real because we followed up. We met afterward. We sent LinkedIn messages to each other. I described one, and I said, She's been great. We met for lunch in Manhattan, and she gave me great advice on something. So now that is a real relationship. I think the thought that LinkedIn is just transactional and networking is meaningless — people leave out the follow-up piece. The last thing I would say is, I think women in particular worry too much about being transactional. If I am happy to help somebody who can't do anything for me, then I'm not a transactional person. And I think when you meet people, one way to follow up is to listen carefully to what they're doing and then, either in the moment or later, say, I don't do what you do, but I know someone who does. Would it be helpful if I introduced you? Would it be helpful if I followed up with an article? That whole approach takes it out of the realm of being transactional. You're offering to help them. You're not looking to get something. And so if we're willing to help people who can't do anything for us — especially at this age — so my son is at the age where his friends are going back to business school, and they all know I went to Columbia. So they call me and ask for advice, and I've offered tips and connected them with people. Those kids can't do anything for me, but I'm happy to do it. I think networking is only transactional if you allow it to be. Go into a relationship thinking about being transactional in that you're providing the help. Once you meet somebody, think, Hmm, I wonder if this would be helpful to them. Then follow up with that. That's one way it takes you out of the realm of strictly looking for something for yourself.
Katie Fogarty [16:05]
So much great advice. Okay, Shelly, we're heading into a quick break, but when we come back, I want to explore some of the networking principles that I know you follow in your own life and teach through Schmooze. We'll be back in just a minute. Shelly, we're back from the break. When we went into it, you were telling us a story of different ways that you follow up. And in fact, that's one of the principles and one of the networking modules that you teach at Schmooze, which is: the fortune is in the follow-up, right?
Shelly Lombard [16:32]
Yes.
Katie Fogarty [16:33]
Reciprocity turns contacts into relationships. So what do we need to know — what are the tactical tips for following up?
Shelly Lombard [16:42]
We had a Schmooze class taught by a tech entrepreneur — very successful, he'd exited two startups — and he introduced us to the concept of information, introduction, invitation. So when you're talking to people for the first time, small talk is very helpful. I often say that curiosity is a relationship hack, because finding out about somebody gives you reasons to follow up. I'll often say, Oh, this has been a really tough year. What's been going on with you this year? If you want to keep it on the business side. And then I might segue to: Have you planned your summer vacation yet? Where are you going? If they say, Oh, I'm going to Greece or Thailand, that gives me an excuse a month later to say, Hey, thought of you — saw this article in Travel and Leisure about the five best restaurants in Phuket. Just sending it on. I'll often mention that I'm from New Orleans, so I'll say, I usually go to New Orleans in the summer, but it's just been too hot lately. And that's an invitation for people to say, Oh my God, I love New Orleans. Well, I keep a list in my phone of the restaurants I love in New Orleans, so I'm happy to send it to you. So information is a way to follow up. And then, as I said before, introduction — I'm not in financial operations, but you are, and I know a couple of people who are. Would it be helpful to you if I introduce you to this person and that person? And then the third one — when you really want to develop a relationship — is to do something in person. Men have long known that sharing an experience builds relationships. That's why they play golf. When I was on Wall Street, people would always invite me to Knicks games. And so Schmooze did watch parties last year when the New York Liberty basketball team was in the playoffs. Watch parties are more manageable for people who have to get home to kids or an elderly parent — instead of sitting there for an entire game, you can come to the watch party and leave at halftime if you need to. So the three steps are information, introduction, and invitation. And you can't do it with everybody, but with those relationships where you really want to build something, a shared coffee, a shared watch party, something like that, goes a long way.
Katie Fogarty [19:20]
I think these three I's — information, introduction, invitation — are things that women do very naturally and quite often. The people who are listening to this are incredible networkers, even if they don't think of themselves as networkers. Because we are always sharing information, maybe in a text thread. I'm always sending articles to people. One of my friends, Marla, literally knows I like a certain brand, and every time it's on sale, she updates me. And I'm like, Marla, my closet is not that big. I've downsized, I have a third college tuition to pay — but I love it, because every time she pings me to say, Oh, this brand's on sale, I feel a little sense of love. So we're doing this naturally with people in our lives. But if you think about extending it more intentionally — to ring beyond our first-degree contacts and create deeper, richer relationships in the second and third — I think that is really, really smart. I want to ask you: you said at the top of the show that you're shy and a bit of an introvert, yet you're really good at networking. What would you say to a listener who might think, oh, some of this comes naturally to other people, but for me, it's hard?
Shelly Lombard [20:33]
I think there are things you can do. One reason I didn't network earlier in my career was the kids — it was a demanding job, I was sitting in the suburbs, and people wanted to get together in Manhattan. I'm shy and I'm an introvert, and there were plenty of guys I worked with on Wall Street, because the area I was in was very male dominated. I would think, Oh, I should ask David if he wants to go to coffee. Then I'd think, Oh, but then I'd have to talk to him. I thought I had to be charming. I thought I had to be knowledgeable about what was going on in the market. All I had to do was just be curious. Like, Oh, so where do you think the market is going? Or, I heard this deal didn't get done — what happened there? All you have to do is be curious. So that's one thing. You also can engage with people through LinkedIn — great tool, and you don't even have to be in person. A good friend of mine who's an executive resume writer, Lisa Rangel, posted something the other day. She said posting on LinkedIn is kind of like coming to a party but standing in the corner waiting for people to interact with you. One way to keep in touch with people — and you can do this whether you're an introvert or not — is to comment on their posts. People love that. I know for me, when people comment on my post or share my post, I'm thrilled. And the LinkedIn algorithm rewards you if people comment on your post, so you are pinging people in a very natural way that they appreciate. If they're on LinkedIn and they post something — even if it's only once a month because they went to some industry conference — if you comment on it, that is very helpful and a way to remain visible. And it's very easy for introverts to do. The other thing I do at real-life events — I used to dread those, but now what I do is I approach groups of three. If it's a group of two, they may know each other and be talking about their kids or something. But groups of three are less likely to be the case. I approach a group of three and say, honestly, Hey, I don't know anybody here. Can I join you guys? Nobody ever says, Get lost. They always say, Oh yes, of course you can join us. So that's a way of easing into a room where you don't know anybody and you're an introvert. Those are tips I've learned along the way. Now Schmooze brings in other people, like Susan McPherson, who taught a mini masterclass for us. And what I've learned is to take pieces of everything and put together what I call the Schmooze Playbook: be strategic, be systematic about following up, and be seen. I've also interviewed 100 successful women about their careers and what helped them — how they built relationships — and I've taken pieces of everything everyone said to build that playbook. So it's not like I'm a born great networker. I've gotten much better, but I built this playbook based on those interviews.
Katie Fogarty [24:10]
Yeah, it's so wonderful to tap into the knowledge of other women who've successfully networked to either advance or reimagine their careers. I'm sure that's such a wonderful guide. And I love what you said about "be seen." I was over at a women's education and community building space called Luminary recently, and Kate Lucio, the founder — who's been a guest on this podcast — talked about the notion that visibility is velocity. If you are visible, it takes you far places. And a lot of people recoil from this because they think, Oh, I don't want to be on a stage speaking. It doesn't have to be that. It could be as simple as you pointed out: liking and commenting on other people's LinkedIn posts. Regular listeners to the show know that I have a day job as a career coach. I help people all the time on their LinkedIn profiles, and I tell people all the time, this is the easiest, lowest-lift form of networking. You can do it from your desktop or from your mobile phone on the app. LinkedIn has got a billion users on the platform, but one of the lowest engagement rates of all the social networks. And what does that mean? That means people are not interacting, liking, and commenting as much as they can. And so people know — if you post something and somebody comments on it, you notice. If they reshare it, you really sit up and take notice, like, who did that? Because it doesn't happen a lot. When you see that kind of soft interaction with your material, it is a reminder that this person is a fan of your work, that they're supporting you, that they're cheering you on in some way. And it feels great — and it's very easy to be on the delivery end. So I so appreciate that you shared that. I want to ask you about another one of Schmooze's networking classes that I observed online — it caught my eye. It was: develop your elevator pitch for a career pivot. And I know that a lot of listeners of this show — a lot of friends in my real life — are trying to reimagine what this next phase looks like for them, sometimes professionally, but sometimes maybe just a creative pivot, or even just a big relationship pivot. So walk us through the elements of the shift. What kind of communication do we use when we're trying to move ourselves in a new direction? Because our network can have an impression of us that's frozen in time. They remember us as an automotive analyst, or they remember us as a stay-at-home mom, or they remember us as somebody who wasn't writing novels. How do we communicate to let people know we are showing up differently for ourselves today and we have different goals?
Shelly Lombard [26:45]
Yeah, so I'm going to bring in Susan Wojcicki to teach that class. She's taught two classes for Schmooze. She's a communications expert — I think she has a doctorate from Harvard or something. She introduced a very simple framework for introducing yourself, and there's an article she wrote for the Harvard Business Review. I want her to come in and teach us how to do it when you're transitioning. But the basics are: first, you talk about what you're doing now — even if it's a transition. A lot of people think they need to say they're unemployed or trying to figure things out. You don't. You just say, I'm transitioning right now into something in public relations, or something like that. Then you go to your past. Your past gives you credibility. I worked on Wall Street for 30 years — that doesn't have anything to do with Schmooze, but the fact that someone was willing to employ me for 30 years gives me some credibility. Then you can insert a through line: what you did in the past is connected to what you're transitioning to, or what you want to do. Or you can use a line that says, People tell me... So my through line is: I am the founder of Schmooze. I worked on Wall Street for 30-plus years and realized I had not been as intentional or strategic about networking as I should have been. And people tell me I'm really good at teaching. So I have launched Schmooze. Then I go into that. So it's your present, what you're transitioning to; your past, which gives you credibility; and then your through line — throughout my career, people have said to me that I am really good at XYZ. That's a way to connect your past to your present and future, and to brag on yourself without saying, Oh, I'm the best at XYZ. For your future, tell people what you're passionate about. There's a Schmooze member who's a banker, and her pitch is: I'm a community banker. I've been in community banking, helping small businesses for 10 years. People tell me I'm really good at helping small businesses understand the financial impact of what they're doing day to day. I'm really passionate about helping small businesses navigate this volatile world with tariffs and all that. And let me just step back and say, there's been a backlash from people saying networking is too superficial — people always want to start with your title. But I think you have to read the room. If I'm in a room and I'm looking for a board role, I'm not going to start talking about how much I love my friend's French Bulldog. I'm going to talk about what I can bring to a board. There's not one right way to network, but this transition thing is really interesting. Susan is going to use her typical template — present, past, future — and show us how to tweak it if you're transitioning.
Katie Fogarty [30:14]
Yeah, it's great to get the script nailed down — the one basic script in your mind — and when you know it so well, you can modify it based on who you're talking to and, to your point, what room you're in. I've seen this in my own life. My day job is working as a career coach. But five years ago I launched a podcast, and I was a newbie podcaster trying to explain to people why I wanted them to come on a show to talk about menopause and aging parents and bone health. I had to say that as a career coach, I'd learned that people have a lot of fear around ageism. I talk to people constantly who fear the loss of career relevancy and marketability, and I wanted to create a show that really showcased women who were thriving and reinventing midlife. And along the way in doing so, I learned that we have so much lived wisdom and expertise, but we also need a fresh toolkit for managing the hard stuff. And I feature experts that help you thrive. So I was learning to talk about myself in a new way. And I'll be honest — what was trickiest for me was to stand forward in this new space and declare myself as someone who belongs there. Not that I didn't feel I deserved to be there, but when you are trying new things on for size, it can be uncomfortable sometimes.
Shelly Lombard [31:34]
Yes.
Katie Fogarty [31:34]
To claim that for yourself. But I will share — the faster you get comfortable with recognizing that you deserve to be in that new space solely because you want to be there... that doesn't mean they're going to roll out the red carpet for you, but when you realize for yourself that you deserve to be in that new space and want to be there, that's when you should be talking about yourself in that way.
Shelly Lombard [31:57]
I think we've got to make that transition quickly. That's a great insight, and you can use that when you talk about what you're passionate about. Your credibility can come from something else you did, and you can use that through line for how it led you to where you are now. But if you're ending your self-introduction with what you're passionate about, that's absolutely it. Because you're not saying I'm an expert in this. I was passionate about networking because I was terrible at it — or, well, I'm not sure I was terrible, I just didn't do it. I didn't realize. Look, my parents were teachers, and it was: go to a good school, get a job, and work hard. Nobody ever talked to me about networking — not just external networking, but networking inside the company and developing relationships inside the company. That was not part of their world. So I couldn't say I was an expert at networking. But what I could say was that I was passionate about helping other women not make the mistake I made, and that's basically the genesis of Schmooze. Then I became an expert as I interviewed 100 women, listened to all these mini masterclasses, put together this playbook, and now I use it for myself. And it's amazing. I am happier now, as I said at the beginning, than I've ever been, and a lot of it is because of the relationships I've developed — and that I have been intentional about developing.
Katie Fogarty [33:24]
So let's hear about maybe one relationship — if you could think of one — and I know it's hard, because you've had a long career and you've been really active and intentional in this space. But if you think of one relationship that you built that either changed the trajectory of your career, or perhaps a relationship that helped you reinvent this new journey that you're on — what would that be?
Shelly Lombard [33:44]
Ooh, that's a tough one. Because since starting Schmooze, I have met so many women. So many people have reached out to me — Lisa Rangel, who I just talked about; Susan McPherson, who I was on a panel with and she was like, Oh girl, we have to do something together; Meggie Palmer; Dylan Gomey — the list goes on. I couldn't even... Kate Lucio was an early supporter, and I have a relationship with her that I use as an example. She was doing something with women in sports. I met somebody on a panel who I knew had that interest — she had been a Division I basketball player and wanted to speak to women in sports. And so I said, Would it be helpful if I introduced you to Kate? She was like, Absolutely. So I reached out to Kate, Kate said, Oh yeah, I'm happy to be introduced, and I introduced the two of them. Nothing in it for me — nothing in it for me. But I introduced the two of them, and that woman I introduced Kate to is, I'm sure, going to become a good contact just because of that introduction. We may not stay in touch frequently, but I'm sure she'll remember that I introduced her. And I feel good karma points.
Katie Fogarty [34:57]
Yeah, absolutely. And I love that you talked — during this answer about how you were on panels with people, you're in certain rooms, you're at events — and I think that speaks to the power of putting yourself in places where you're going to meet new people. Now, some people who are listening right now are thinking to themselves, maybe I'm never going to be a panelist, I'm never going to be on a panel. And that may or may not be true, but you can attend conferences where you're seeing panels in action. You can wind up sitting next to a woman in the row in front of and behind you, and turn around and say, What brings you here? How did you get here? There's incredible power in putting yourself in places where you can start to meet new people. And using your rule of three — you walk up and say, Hi, what brings you here? I'm new, I don't know anybody. Can I join you? And people are going to say yes. Although Shelly, I did that once, and these people kind of blew me off. But whatever — that is very, very rare.
Shelly Lombard [35:51]
People like to be helpful. So yeah, that is very rare. And you know what? Those weren't your people.
Katie Fogarty [36:00]
Exactly. It's like a shortcut. You're like, onto the next — there are more awesome people out there to meet. And I truly have expanded my network in that way. And I know this is out there for other people if they're willing to do it. And again, it doesn't have to be professionally. You could be at the knitting club or the mahjong thing or the pickleball class. You can show up, think to yourself, I want to play pickleball, go take a clinic, and then start to meet people who are into what you're into. Then say, Hey, can we set up a foursome for Saturday? And before you know it, you're making relationships and friendships, which is so important. Because we know the quality of our relationships really determines the quality of our life. Harvard has done the longest-running study on adult human happiness — they've followed people for more than 80 years — and they've seen that a long and healthy lifespan is directly linked to the quality of our relationships. So even if you do not want to reinvent yourself professionally, you do not want to pivot, you do not want to reimagine your professional life, you do want a vibrant, rich life. And all of the ideas you've shared during the show can be used to just build quality relationships. So I want to ask you, before we move on to our last question, about the word "Schmooze," which I think is really fun, but sometimes it's a little loaded. What made you pick something tongue-in-cheek? Talk to us about why this title. And I want to hear more specifically about what Schmooze offers that our listeners might be able to access.
Shelly Lombard [37:26]
Thank you for asking. I was probably naive when I picked Schmooze, because I didn't know so many people had a negative connotation around it. I just thought it was cute. When people...
Katie Fogarty [37:38]
It is cute!
Shelly Lombard [37:39]
Yeah, when people hear it for the first time, they have one of two reactions. Nine out of ten people say, Oh, that's such a cute name. And the other person — they don't tell me it's negative to my face — but we might be on a panel or something together and they'll say, Oh yeah, that person just... they schmooze a lot, and they look at me and say, Sorry. No offense taken. So I just thought it was cute and memorable, and it said exactly what I wanted to say. And I think schmoozing, as we've talked about today, doesn't have to have a negative connotation if you do it right. Don't be afraid to be transactional in terms of helping the other person, and then it'll come back to you. If you are somebody who is willing to help people who can't do anything for you, that probably proves you're not transactional. So you need to stop worrying about that. And so yeah, I am glad I picked the name. Although there must be some dating site called Schmooze in the world...
Katie Fogarty [38:42]
Oh my gosh — every word and every name is taken. It's very hard to land on a URL. Let me tell you.
Shelly Lombard [38:47]
I get all their emails. They must be schmooze-dot-something-else. I'm schmooze.biz, and I get all their emails. I signed up for a membership, but it has my brother's picture, not my picture. I'm like, Whoa, wrong Schmooze!
Katie Fogarty [39:02]
Anyway, that was hysterical.
Shelly Lombard [39:05]
Yes, it was — first I was like, Who are these people? And then I realized they were emailing me instead of the Schmooze they really wanted. So in terms of what we offer: so many mini masterclasses on all topics related to networking. We don't do personal branding or anything like that, but it's all networking. Your LinkedIn profile, how to introduce yourself, networking through a career pivot, networking internally. That's a big one, because I think people forget — they think it's all about just working hard. I interviewed a woman for the Schmooze newsletter, which is free on LinkedIn. She's worked at Valentino, at Bulgari, all of these luxury fashion brands, and she said, A lot of times we think about the outcomes, but relationships determine the outcomes. So we do classes — mini masterclasses, panels, and fireside chats — not just on external relationships, but also on relationships inside your company, because she's absolutely right. They determine the outcomes you're trying for. For the mini masterclasses, we also have accountability groups where you meet once a week for six weeks. This is my to-do list — and somebody else says, Okay, this is mine. And then the next week, you're like, Okay, did you do what you were supposed to do? Did I do what I was supposed to do? We have events like the watch parties, because I think, as I've said, people discount the benefit of shared experiences.
Katie Fogarty [40:39]
Yes, so many wonderful and rich offerings. Listeners can head to schmooze.biz to find all of that. I'm also going to link out to it in the show notes and obviously share it on social as well. So Shelly, as we start to wrap up our time today, I want to just ask you to close with a word of coaching to women about the mindset shift you'd like to see listeners take as they look to create what's next and create new relationships for this season of life. What do you want a woman who's listening to the show to walk away thinking after we're done talking?
Shelly Lombard [41:11]
You know what — you said it probably more eloquently than I ever could. It's about relationships. Relationships determine the quality of your life — not just the quality of your career, the quality of your life. And so for me, that has been a revelation. A revelation to me. How I could connect with people, even though I'm no longer on Wall Street and I'm no longer being quoted in The Wall Street Journal — I am so much happier because of all of these professional relationships that I have built, and some of them feel very personal. Like the women that you got together with in Austin celebrating birthdays — a lot of these relationships, as they've gotten deeper, have become very personal. And that's particularly true in the second act, because we're doing things differently. We're not necessarily looking for a nine-to-five job. We're creating portfolio careers, fractional opportunities, and we want to be on boards — and almost all of those things are found through networking. So I think networking in the later part of your life is probably even more important than it was. It was definitely important earlier in your career — I learned that the hard way. But it's equally as important, or maybe more important, now.
Katie Fogarty [42:24]
Well, I am so thrilled that we are now connected through this conversation and the podcast, and that we are in each other's network and orbit. I so appreciate your time today. It's always such a delight to connect with a new woman, learn about her career, and see what she's bringing out into the world. And I love that what you're offering is something that really helps other women develop the relationships they need to create what's next for them. So Shelly, thank you so much for your time today.
Shelly Lombard [42:48]
Thank you for having me. This was so much fun. Thank you, Katie.
Katie Fogarty [42:52]
You are welcome. This wraps A Certain Age, a show for women who are aging without apology. Today's show is on a topic that I care so deeply about: adding more people to your network, expanding the pool of people that are making your midlife rich and joyful and creative, and accelerating what you're up to in this next phase of life. I took a lot away from this conversation. I hope you did too. Shelly shared some great ideas about how to nurture your existing network and how to expand it so you can create more possibilities for yourself as you move into and through this next phase of life. I so enjoyed this conversation. It makes me even more inspired to keep going, keep getting out there, keep connecting with new people, because who knows what you can build, create, and do together. I hope you enjoyed this conversation as much as I did. I would love to hear about it in an Apple Podcasts or Spotify review. Reviews help other listeners find the show. This is also a great way of connecting with somebody in your life — pop this episode into their LinkedIn inbox, DM it to your text threads, send an email. It's a great way of being in front of the people that you care about. Thanks for sticking around to the end of the show, and as always, special thanks to Michael Mancini, who composed and produced our theme music. See you next time, and until then, age boldly, beauties.